), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. I heard you have a stash of kisses in your dorm can i possibly get one from you? The lovable Charlie, who is one of a group of children to win a tour of the mysterious Chocolate Factory of the eccentric candymaker, Willy Wonka . "Keeps him from falling out of bed. Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe Do you like it dark or milky? He was nutty! - Chocolate satisfies even when it's gone soft. - If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind. 100 of the funniest dirty jokes that will make you laugh and gasp I will not ever need sweets if I already have you in my life. Obviously all of the heads of government and religious leaders want to speak to the aliens so they set up a meeting with our new visitors. When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream! We have gathered some of the funniest and amusingly ridiculous chocolate jokes, funny chocolate stories, puns, and one-liners youll ever see. Dad's Dirty Jokes - Bob Saget - YouTube - Size doesn't matter - though more is still better. If only the sweets tastes like you then I would definitely start to love them. Foiled again. Itll take the edge off your appetite, and youll eat less. All I want is peace, love, understanding, and a chocolate bar bigger than my head. Julie Davis, Los Angeles Times, 10/30/85. Boy I can make you melt in my mouth and in my hand like chocolate. Laugh Factory Candy who? "Since I lost my teeth, all I can do is gum chocolate off the M&M's.". Candy! I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. Am i enough for you? Crushed nuts? asked the server. You can use these phrases in whatever comedic form you like. Sure enough, nine months later, out popped? A cad-bury. Counselor Deanna Troi, Star Trek: The Next Generation. We share them in our weekly newsletter. A Guyanese and a Jamaican walk into a store, the guyanese tief a chocolate bar and when they left the store he said "yuh see dat?" "nobody cya tief like me! What's the difference between kinky and perverted? We believe chocolate consumption may have the same effect. @. 3 Musketeers! 66 Frozen Yogurt and Ice Cream Pick Up Lines, 147 Deli Pick Up Lines (Meat Cold Cut, Cheese, Bread, Sandwich). Women Enjoy our chocolate quotes and jokes by clicking on a link to jump to that topic below. Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe. Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? Hot chocolate. - 23 Mar 2022. Since Im all about chocolate, how bout a little sugar? 64460V@D1.UUCP (R Scott V Paterson) A man walks into the local ice cream parlor and tells the attendant he wants a gallon of vanilla, a gallon of strawberry and a gallon of chocolate ice cream. The man replies, And he ate that much chocolate? Ted, Queer Eye For The Straight Guy, Fruit of all the kinds that the country produced were laid before him; he ate very little, but from time to time a liquor prepared from cocoa, and of an aphrodisiac nature, as we were told, was presented to him in golden cups I observed a number of jars, above fifty, brought in, filled with foaming chocolate of which he took some Bernal Diaz del Castillo, member of Corts force, describing a meal of emperor Montezuma, 1519, Let us celebrate our agreement with the adding of chocolate to milk. Sweet Sweet Baby Ruth 79 Dirty Jokes That Are Funny ASF | Bridal Shower 101 Chocolate Jokes Dirty - Dirty Funny Jokes Taureano Ent says: August 13, 2019 at 2:00 pm Are you a chocolate bar? Q: Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? That is, a swimming stroke, a golf stroke, a tennis stroke I couldn't help but grab her delicious Mounds because it was easy to see that this little Twix had the Red Hots. Life is like a box of chocolates, It doesn't last too long for fat people. A marsbar! What are the 4 major food groups? What kind of candy makes fun of you? If they dont have chocolate in heaven, I aint going. A Kit Kat! Smorse Code. Darling I will supply you with stash of sweets and my never ending love for you. He needed a chocolate filling. Hernando Corts, 1519, If you are not feeling well, if you have not slept, chocolate will revive you. Here, have some chocolate. A male whale and a female whale see a fishing boat with a large harpoon. Your stress-free life helps you maintain a youthful disposition, both physically and mentally. Theres nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate. Oh damn I never knew having you would give me the good kind of cavities. It will not make you pregnant. Why don't bananas snore? He asks the female whale "let's both get under the boat, blow air out of our air holes, and it might topple the ship.". The man sitting next to him looks over and says, Eating that many chocolate bars are bad for you. List of Archie Comics characters - Wikipedia You have this ability to make me so happy like only sweet foods can do. A Ferrari Rocher! I Heard Cadbury Are going to Make An Oriental Chocolate Bar Chocolate mousse! What kind of candy is never on time? You eat it, She says, Oh, Oh Henry!. Why did the donut visit the dentist? What do you call a womanising chocolate? Darling, you are like chocolate, you make everything better. Its also not funny to cry over chocolate milk spilled! 2. Theres a thin person inside of me screaming to get out, but I keep her sedated with chocolate. Flowers and champagne may set the stage, but its chocolate that steals the show. The man replies, "And he ate that much chocolate?". His aged and withered hand painstakingly made its way toward a cookie when it was suddenly smacked by a spatula. John Travolta, Dont wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty. Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826). I want to go to heaven when I die! Alicia Silverstone, The taste of chocolate is a sensual pleasure in itself, existing in the same world as sex For myself, I can enjoy the wicked pleasure of chocolate entirely by myself. A naked man broke into a church. A balanced diet consists of items from the five major food groups: dairy, grains, meats, fruits/vegetables, and chocolate. I promise Ill make you forget all the bad things this day brought by being your stash if sweet. 20 Chocolate Puns. Whos there? I love a man with chocolate on his breath. I will grant you three wishes, says the genie.For my first wish, I would like a boat with a full tank of petrol. The genie snaps his fingers and the boat appears.For my second wish, I would like 10 million pounds. The genie snaps his fingers and a bag appears stuffed with the money.For my final wish, I would like to be so popular that everyone likes me. For the last time, the genie snaps his fingers and the man is turned into a box of chocolates.PETA is like a box of chocolates.They kill dogs.Someone told me there was caffeine in chocolate.If thats true, then why has my dog been asleep for so long, huh?Life is like a box of chocolates.The fatter you are, the shorter it lasts.My uncles joke he just came up with: What are chocolates preferred pronouns?Her, She.They recently found a mummy in Egypt covered in chocolate and nuts.They think it was pharaoh rocher.Why should you always melt chocolate over boiling water?Because if you try and melt it under boiling water, youll die.Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is quite unrealistic but at least they got one thing rightThe moment Charlie found that ticket all the scalpers started coming out.I saw my son eating chocolate even after I confiscated all his Halloween candy. Q: How do you know when a complete moron has been making chocolate chip cookies? No matter the setting, these 50 hilarious, unsavory jokes are never entirely appropriate. I dont understand why so many so called chocolate lovers complain about the calories in chocolate, when all true chocoholics know that it is a vegetable. Friend 1: Well, I don't want to go to hell. Nestle Crunk bar. What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? Easy Copy & Paste! Hershey. Discovered World's Rarest Treasure Underground (NEVER BEFORE SEEN The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars are bad for you.". Chocolate is cheaper than therapy and you dont need an appointment. Some of our greatest chocolate jokes are here! You are like a box full of sweet that I cannot get hands off. Save the Earth! Whos there? Can you fit any more Milky Way Chocolate Bars into your desk drawer there, Jim? 1. What do you get when you enrobe a sheep in chocolate? Sense of Humor. Cao-cao! Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex: - You can GET chocolate. Keep calm and eat cookies. A little too much chocolate is just about right. 53 Best Valentine's Day Jokes and One Liners 2023 - Country Living A rocky road! I just got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows and nuts.I wont lie, it was a Rocky Road.So I try to eat healthy.But every time I try, a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.What type of snack is never on time?Choco-late.My cousin works in a chocolate shop.He works behind the bar.Archaeologists have uncovered a mummy in Egypt covered in nuts and chocolate.They believe its Pharaoh Roche.My son is three years old and I took him shopping.When we got home, he had a chocolate bar in his pocket.Now, I didnt buy it and he certainly didnt buy it, so I marched him straight back to the shopping centre and went to the jewellers.A Korean martial artist was giving away chocolate bars.I asked if I could have 2.He said, No. 28+ Best Dirty Chocolate Pick Up Lines - Best Jokes and Puns I feel like I went to heaven full of chocolate upon getting a taste of you. "Take only one. Which is a chocoholics favorite kind of party? Of course, the same arguments can as persuasively be made in favor of dirt. Chocolate Jokes Dirty Jokes dirty What is a monkey's favorite cookie? Milton Hershey, Never mind about 1066 William the Conqueror, 1087 William the Second. Funny Cookie Jokes That'll Make Your Heart Crumble. Because I want to swallow every last drop of you. Nursing Home. A marsbar! Because he wanted to be a Smarty. Lindt.A man said to the chocolate maker, Are you a magician?No, said the chocolate maker, but I do have a couple of Twix up my sleeve.Last night in jail the prisoners were given mint chocolates for dessert. We know we love them! Chocolate causes certain endocrine glands to secrete hormones that affect your feelings and behavior by making you happy. Not only that, aside from being delicious and beneficial, it can also be hilarious. The boy looks over and responds, "My great grandfather lived to be 105.". Bob Saget: That's What I'm Talking About is out now on Apple TV, Amazon Prime Video, Dish, DirectTV, Spectrum, Google Play and more! Not every joke needs to be family-friendly or G-rated. It was all I could do to hold the Snickers and Crackle as my Butterfinger went up her tight little Kit Kat and she started to scream "Oh Henry, Oh Henry!" Because you are the only one that can satisfy me. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. They go ahead and do it, with success: the fish boat sinks. In a hotel sweet.What do you call a lamb dipped in chocolate? What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? Tiefing A man found a bottle on the beach. Life is like a box of chocolates full of nuts! You are so sweet, I would eat you over chocolate any day. Choco-early. Coffee Jokes. Put eat chocolate at the top of your list of things to do today. Let's bake it happen! Ben Strohecker, chocolatier. Sandra Boynton, Chocolate: the Consuming Passion, Carob is a brown powder made from the pulverized fruit of a Mediterranean evergreen. Once you consume chocolate, chocolate will consume you. Lets get right into the chocolate silliness and dive right in. Simply put everyone has a price, mine is chocolate! Bean = vegetable. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? (LogOut/ Final score: 569 points. Cao-cao! 3.14159265. How dairy, who? When the three kids discover that a . Why the Grinch wanted to live alone with his dog. If you believe that, you REALLY need to meet that special someone who can change your mind. You make my heart melt faster than hot chocolate. Girl, I love how you melt this hard chocolate bar with your mouth, perhaps you can melt something else tonight. Its my favorite feeling. A chocolate bar. They dont last long for fat people. Knock knock! You have this capability of making my taste buds so happy and I love that. You're welcome. How dairy steal my chocolate! The man wished for a million dollars, and poof! Laugh more: 87 Car Jokes That Will Drive You Crazy. You can call me metronidazole because I do great work below the diaphragm without needing air. I can make you so happy with all the stash I have at home. Chocolate isnt a food, its a medicine an anti-depressant. 1. Because I want you to spread for my satisfaction tonight. Im sure chocolate lovers like thesefunny chocolate jokes! The little boy looks over and responds, My great grandfather lived to be 105. The penguin isn't the neatest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. "For my second wish, I would like 10 million pounds." How can you tell that a blondes been baking chocolate chip cookies? A mum to her son: Yesterday there were two chocolate cakes in the pantry and now theres only one. When the old man returned, the young man felt guilty and confessed to taking the peanuts. What did you guys do? . ", A race of aliens visits earth one day; they come in peace and surprisingly, they speak English. Here youll find the best chocolate jokes, were sure youll agree. - If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind. Needless to sayHe got his Snickers in a Twix.Two wafers fell into a vat of chocolate.The first one pulled the second one out.The second one said, Thanks, youre a lifesaver!The first one responded, Actually, Im a KitKat.I saw an article about people snorting chocolate powder for a rush.They wanted a Quik high. I love hole foods. Marquise de Svign, Chocolate is a perfect food, as wholesome as it is delicious, a beneficent restorer of exhausted power. Its a Ferrari Rocher.I heard a chocolate joke the other day, but it wasnt that funny and only got Snickers out of me.Life is like a box of chocolates full of nuts.A boy threw a milk chocolate bar at me. Hot fudge fills deep needs. We've got all kinds of funniest dirty minded jokes covering from the nasty dark humor to toilet humor as well.