There's almost no other statement that could sting the heart sharper than "I don't love you anymore." However, when you go for the "jugular" just because you want to get back at him, that's pretty mean and low. Sex is one major department guys don't like to feel inadequate. 74. Wondering if your boss has been cheating with his secretary? I dont care if its the truth or not, its harsh. Here's the thing, men don't relate nicely with anything that makes them feel inadequate down there. Perhaps you don't want to date a guy, it's okay to simply let him know. Instead, say something nice or nothing at all. But to now use her friend? If you had even the faintest idea of how damaging these four words can be, you wouldnt use them. Im writing to ask for advice. You clearly can't give a woman an orgasm. If you want to end up in a womans black book for life, call her fake. Dear Brianna, its very important that you talk with a professional about this. Your email address will not be published. Ive ordered both books, cant wait to read them, Ive already shared with my Sis whos dealing with similiar issues. They always seem to have some excuse as to why they can't spend some quality time with you like they used to. You don't have what it takes to take care of me. Want to leave her wondering what guys really want? She recently hurt me with her words regarding my sons graduation. I feel as if it is something I should be able to do to help me move forward if nothing else. For instance, researchers have found that most cultures have words for seven basic emotions: joy, fear, anger, sadness, disgust, shame and guilt. 28. Thanks for the helpful list and all of your important work! Its even more painful when it comes from someone you care about. The list is based on ten somewhat common words in the English dictionary. Just leave your ex out of it. 26. Frequently throwing this type of statement at him will break his heart and make it difficult for you guys to get better. I keep thinking you can't get any dumber, but then you like to prove me wrong. Ah, this is just terrible. If I were friends with a guy who thinks he deserves respect just because of his gender, Id be pained for even knowing him. You might think you are being yourself when you use these lines, but this is something people do when they don't want to reach a compromise. It also minimizes the feelings of another person and communicates that the person is overreacting. If she has to wait too long for anything, she gets angry. If you mess with someones self-esteem with words like this, that would be a really low move. Please include what you were doing when this page came up and the Cloudflare Ray ID found at the bottom of this page. This is another disapproving and derogatory language, its simply another way of calling a girl a hoe, slut, whore, etc. Are you sure these condoms aren't too big for you? Keep at it! I grew up with a sibling with special needs, and to this day I continue to attract people with serious mental illnesses. It sounds like you are telling him you desire someone else. It makes people feel worse because they realize we don't actually care about them! My cousins don't think this a swear word and they say it a lot, especially Novayah. I hope you find what you're looking for. Id take someone telling me point blank that they hate me over indifference any day. Telling someone they cant do something because its a mans job is not right, especially when said in that tone. Find hundreds of additional emotion words in the extensive Emotion Words List in the back of the book Running On Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect. You can also try picking on everything she does and making her feel like less of a lady every chance you get. Your past lover isn't psychic, and your current boyfriend can't be too, so quit throwing your ex's prowess on your boyfriend's face, it's not pretty. Couples can have an argument or a fight in relationships; there no doubt about it. It's not a good idea to invalidate the feelings of others. So, I came about to be a relationship advice writer! It also causes victims to doubt themselves and their perceptions. She probably feels different from other people already, calling her weirdo will only upset her and make her withdraw even further. Youre essentially saying she isnt good enough for you anymore. I know that I have to forgive her for my own sanity. I am interested in your comments to Julie I may be in a similar situation now!!! To stop dismissing yourself is the most important thing! While your man might react badly, you may trigger a jealousy vibe. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 69. One of my friend's husbands cheated on him. Silenced. Sometimes a man might need a reality check if he's acting all irresponsible, like lying around playing video games all day. Calling a person crazy as an insult still hurts even though we play with the word a lot. An argument between couples isn't necessarily about who's correct or wrong. The words at the top of the list are the ones most associated with hurtful, and as you go down the relatedness becomes more slight. This is up there among words that would definitely be too painful to hear for anyone. When you say that in a conversation, that's a message that he's a far cry from what you expect from a man. Youve probably heard never to compare your partner to other people. You must be a rebel! 97. He actually enjoys seeing other people in pain and sometimes creates that pain. Okay, so this one is bad. Thats mean. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Adele. But telling him to stop and switch to touching himself is like the worst thing ever you can say to a guy. I couldnt trust them. The top 4 are: harmful, hateful, disrespectful and unkind. Nasty name calling can be an ugly memory that stabs unexpectedlynot unlike a nightmare where you wake up crying. Always telling your partner "it's your fault", is the most hurtful thing to say. I was judged for who I am, discriminated against on something that is no different then my eye color, hair color, height or weight. Another way of saying youre overreacting, hormonal, a drama queen, etc. 101. This lack of awareness can affect them in several ways. Okay, there were no fireworks in the first few parades. I understand some of the points here arent exactly new information, but like I said, the tone matters just as much, if not more than the words themselves. You have no right to tell a person how to act, FYI. The response was I was ignored,the warmth was not return. Im learning to not use fine as a response and to be more honest with those who are asking. 27. "It was just a joke." 7. More than half the time, we say mean things when we are upset, especially when we want to get back at someone we love or used to love us. But then, that doesnt mean being rebuked like that wont get to her. Unless this is a pattern from them, try reaching out to your friend and checking in on whats going on. But it's downright mean to bring your ex you're suggesting it to your man. Bad things happen to me because of what Ive done and what Im like. Couples are meant to be a team. 100 Bible Verses about Hurtful Words. In fact, data from recorded conversations shows us that between 80-90 words a person says per day (0.5% - 0.7% of all words used) are swear words. Our relationship wasn't rough at all; at least, that was what I thought. Thank you for your work. Avoiding making comments that shame them for how they are feeling such as: "You only think about yourself." "Other people have problems, too." Bugodi21: If you were anymore inbred you would be a sandwich. 6. One final warning before we get into the list of mean things to say to a guy. What's in this post: 31 Hurtful Words to Completely Avoid 1. He exaggerates the negative things you do. Big deal, that doesn't mean you have to emasculate him. And I have been on the operating table for as long as I wish to be. Just invite them to share their feelings . Because guys always like to be heroes, statements that make him feel less than a hero are what they never want to hear. "Dyke." This term is homophobic, misogynistic, and all-around derogatory to use on a woman. Others can feel that and will oblige. 75. When bullies are confronted about their . 28. There's almost nothing more hurtful than when the person you love the most doesnt believe what you say. 17. I had to respect the parents wishes. Ive recently started feeling anger and rejection towards a close friend because Ive been noticing little by little that her affective insecurity manifests in wanting to know and be part of almost everything, and I feel controlled and slightly manipulated (at an emotional level), and I find that she may be a bit dependent and needy. 67. A list of the 100 most offensive slang words on The Online Slang Dictionary. If he's just a friend, he'll probably start ghosting you. Its worse if she likes you, that seemingly harmless information might make her self-conscious for life. You not only succeeded in making him feel inadequate, but you may also have permanently killed his pride. Some relationships may not last forever, even after you promise each other the "till death do us part" love." If you mean to suggest that she has never done anything right before, this phrase covers it. A low self-esteemed guy might always look at himself in the mirror and never feel unlovable for anyone. thank you for this list. Dismissed. He sees the bad side in everybodys personality and actions. Currently enjoying my estrangement from the guilty parties, despite relatives who are uncomfortable with the split in the family. Unless it's too small, even your eyes can't notice it. This statement is more like writing off a person. Nevertheless, people who intentionally choose to hurt another person with their choice of words know the exact impact its going to have. Also, be kind to his friends. Oh, goodness Laura! Studying the vast and complicated world of relationships entices me, and I am constantly striving to learn more, so I can then help others with more knowledge and experience. Required fields are marked *. Dismissed. I know its hard not to beat yourself up, I still do it sometimes, but please do find someone to talk to who does not judge emotions but will allow you to express how you feel without fear of being judged or accused. Even if its for fun. Do you feel like he kind of takes you for granted? Its a way to call someone aggressive, bossy, unreasonable, or just nasty. Whatever, really? This is a loaded statement in any situation, but saying it to a lady whos trying to get back together with you might ruin her. I dont even get how being brilliant became an insult but then the way you say it also counts. My dad died a few months ago. Again, it's not uncommon for many divorce cases to favor women. You don't have to like them, but you don't have to hate them and tell him about it. It deserves to be in the top 5. I disagree though and it is really offensive. Does it feel like pulling teeth getting him to say how he feels about you? Sometimes this can be extreme, like racism, sexism or homophobia. 1. Hurt, to me, typically triggers a feeling of emptiness. You are making a big deal out of nothing. They're the kind of people who talk without thinking and hurt others without realizing (at least most of the time). Dont tell her to eat more unless youre deliberately trying to be an ass. It is difficult not to think that if everyone else believes that my needs come last in all situations and that I have no right to set boundaries, then it must be true. And a Narcissist with a capitol, N. My life is comparable to Christinas in the film, Mommie Dearest. I felt so validated seeing that film. Its in my book Running On Empty and is also downloadable on this site under THE BOOK tab. Hi Sarah, this is one of my favorite blogs. Words like Goody two-shoes and Mrs. Grundy ought to do it. Its clear to me now that my mother has no interest in altering her ways. Proverbs 12:18 - There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health. Bitch is an insult to women, whether she is your boss, girlfriend, sister, or friend. I'll take all you own if you divorce me. 82. There are probably worse things in this life than having a personality worth researching "sarcastic things . Unconsciously, when it comes to relationships we buy the lie: "If other people would shape up, then my life would work out.". Welcome! Both should be OK things to do! How to confront hurtful words. Why Do Exes Leave Their Stuff Behind? She has strong beliefs and doesnt accept any view outside those beliefs. Why are your siblings always begging for money? People can tell if we are just paying them lip service. 61. Not a cuss word. This tool could provide the answers. I guess it doesnt come as much of a surprise then that negative words dominate language instead of positive statements or things. And only then. The truth is you just want more help. Insults are forms of emotional violence. Still trying to forgive my mother who continues to hurt me with her actions and dismissing my feelings. Need to check if your brother has been up to no good behind your back? It must be nice to have a woman do your job for you. Dear Nina and Brianna, please make sure you are not invalidating yourselves because that is what enables others to continue treating you that way also. Weve become very close friends these past years, and Im even going to be one of her bridesmaids, so I also feel guilty for my anger and my feelings in general. You can do so without making your past love look like a superman. Again, relationships are complex, and it's possible you man isn't totally psyched about his mom, dad, or entire folks. Trust me; you are the last person he wants to hear it from that he's losing his hair and perhaps becoming less attractive. I am so stuck I just dont want to continue. Acknowledging that they try but will never be enough nonetheless makes it even harder to hear. Thank you for sharing! The Most Hurtful Comments. You can consciously remind yourself that you are not what other people say you are and find one positive word for each negative one. You might have said it because it's genuinely not a good time to discuss the issue. You have no other friends now. When you say that in a conversation, that's a message that he's a far cry from what you expect from a man. Excellent material to assist volunteer telephone crisis counselors another target audience maybe. 96. As in unclean and filthy, not the good kind we sometimes use in the bedroom. Believe it or not, this is not a compliment. While this comment may come in like a joke, it also has a manipulative tune in it. The fact that I still feel to blame because I joined in, I didnt scream, I just cried. synonyms for hurtful Compare Synonyms damaging dangerous destructive detrimental distressing harmful malicious nasty pernicious prejudicial unkind upsetting aching afflictive bad cutting deadly deleterious disadvantageous evil hurting mean mischievous nocuous noxious ominous poisonous spiteful wounding See also synonyms for: unhurtful But don't you dare throw insults at his mom, thinking he'll be cool with it. What are you trying to do, start world war three? With that disclaimer out the way, lets dive into my list. But sometimes frustrating behaviors can push even the most loving parents to say things we quickly regret. Tell your man how you need him to be. It tends to hurt or injure, harmful, mischievous, loss or injury that occurs such as hurtful words or behavior. Im quite sure you deserve far better, and even special care and loving treatment above others because of what you have been through. I also struggle with forgiveness. Age is always a sensitive topic, whether youre asking or forcing it on someone. Shaming her for trying too hard to attract attention can have the same effect. You can email the site owner to let them know you were blocked. Finally, if you dont know what to say, just listen. Calling her stuck-up without ever trying to find out her reasons for staying aloof is terrible. Expressing disappointment in what your partner did is not the worst thing, but directing it at them directly? "You're so fabulous, I bet you fart glitters.". Yes, that is said so often and it always bothers me. 93. "It is not fair for us to decide how someone should feel," Makepeace said. Asking if it's in when you know it's already in is a mean punch below the belt. It's meant to make them look like they are disturbing nobodies. Thank you for your work. We have all felt the sting of cruel words at one time or another. However, it's a classic "I cannot date you" move. We ran some of the words by anti-racism and. This could make you feel disgusted to say such words. But using these words means you can't see any good about his presence in the relationship. Aro769: Anyone who ever loved you was wrong. She doesnt have to sleep around to find the word whore hurtful. I was the one that needed help but no one was there. Running it in their face will only further hurt them. Misunderstood. Keep up the good work. He doesnt have the brains to make the right decisions so he makes bad decisions. It's best not to talk when you are angry. Traduced is a great word, Elizabeth. Many CEN people have few words to describe feelings. Even if your presence somehow contributed to his current great status. At 72 I am still somewhat overwhelmed by childhood neglect issues. Calling a girl a freak either suggests that shes physically deformed or so obsessed with something it looks like an addiction. What to Get A Sagittarius Woman for Her Birthday -Give Her A Surprise! If you take a second assessment before dropping that selfish comment, you'll realize you aren't the only one doing everything in your home. Then, exhale while mentally reciting, "I breathe out negativity and doubt." Method 3 Healing from Hurtful Words Download Article 1 Practice self-love daily. In contrast, if the other person hurt you without just . I am sorry you feel that way! Cruel words become chronic stressors when your partner hears them regularly. It's not only mean and disrespectful, it's got a good-digging ring to it. If you told him that youd just been invited to Tom Cruises space station party on the moon, hed believe you. Give yourself some time to grieve your relationship. A single statement can have an impact so profound on you that it affects you for as long as you live. I was being held accountable for someone elses choices and the accusations where so unfounded and meant to cut deep to drive me away. While it sometimes feels justifiable to be mean to others that were equally mean to us, it's best to avoid saying what you'll later regret. He expressed sympathy for her last night, and his heart goes out to any person any person who has to go through that type of trauma, that type of hurt," she said. I'm Michelle Devani and would like to take this opportunity to welcome you to my site. Young people on the autism spectrum may experience difficulty understanding the social consequences of their words and actions. No matter what he did, girl, you shouldn't make him feel he doesn't have the right to live. It would hurt to see a man I confided in about something hurtful, throw it back in my face. Calling someone prude because their lifestyle doesnt match yours is juvenile but still painful. Guys don't like to feel like they are beneath their girl. Showing how much more important he is than you. "Gay" 2. One of the negative things you could say to a person that may affect them even after you call it quits is telling them they are not attractive anymore. As a woman, it's hard when you man cheats. Keep working on it! Traduced: to expose to shame or blame by means of falsehood and misrepresentation. Break this out when youre trying to be mean to an ex-girlfriend. This is certainly not the worst thing to say to someone. Dear Laura, you are not bad! The blast from the past makes it look like your telling him he's now a shadow of himself. When we are very upset, we sometimes say things to hurt the other person's feelings. 2. Probably you, or your kind, but try asking anyway. If you are dating him, I bet it'll take many apologies to get him on the same page with you. This website is using a security service to protect itself from online attacks. Dear MCB, that adage is the epitome of CEN. After realizing I was the person that everyone around me always came to for dating advice, I decided to merge this skill with my profession writing. He might play it cool with you at first but may open a can of worms about it later. This statement might seem harmless if you are addressing a constantly nagging boyfriend. Theres a sickening list of mean things to say to a guy below. This list helps me to sum up what I want to describe, as opposed to sulking about others incorrect perceptions and doing nothing about them. Even if a woman can handle something on her man, a man still wants to play Prince Charming and swoop in to save the day. Squashed. Imagine how bad that can make someone feel if they think other people think of them that way too. This statement shouldn't go out from you to someone you are dating. I feel like Im such a horrible person. Dear Julie, its hard to forgive someone who hasnt atoned or changed their actions. If it has gotten to the stage where your man irritates you, the door is wide open. Support is what everyone needs, not insults. We provide resources that help you in your relationship, marriage, and dating life. My mother once turned on me in disgust and blurted out in contempt: oh, youll never get married and I was the joke of the wider family and a bit of a black sheep. He doesnt care enough about things, so he can often lose or break them. She only wants you to spend time with her. To make matters worse, name-calling happens a lot and can encourage that behavior in your . I suffered S/A as a young adult for 2 years in an extremely abusive cult and so understand the confused feelings. It's the 21st century. Use with caution. I feel ashamed, ashamed that I could never tell anyone about the sexual abuse I suffered as a child. Yes, a good one. I am so sorry youve been through all of this. Dont bottle it all up, do find someone to talk to they ARE out there. This is an extremely strong thing to say, so don't use it lightly. This statement is very hurtful. How To Make A Girl Fall In Love With You Just By Texting Message (35 Tips), Why cant you be more like your friend?, Why cant we be fun like this other couple?, Im moving out of town, I think we should break up., I don't hate you, I'm just done with you., What was I thinking getting involved with you?, Id rather eat sand than spend one more day with you., Youve taught me everything I dont want in a girl., You think you can do better than me? This is one of those words we use without even knowing their effect on the recipient. If I start telling someone how I feel, they look blank and generally change the subject. Inferior, inept, inadequate, insignificant, unimportant. Chill Out. But first, I need to share with you an incredibly useful discovery that could help a woman in your situation. Whether you say it about her behavior or personality, being called boring or dry isnt exactly a compliment. Another . Friends say some things that hurt each others feelings when upset, or use foul language more when they want their words to sting. You can make her angry or upset very easily. Words that make guys feel inadequate are the worst. 21. I hope you enjoyed the article? Some apply the same generic word to all of their feelings (like stress, depressed, or anxious, for example); some do not use any emotion words at all, and others use the wrong words altogether. "You're too sensitive.". CBC Ottawa compiled a small list of words, submitted by readers and some of our journalists who are Black, Indigenous and people of colour. Girl, you don't want to be a torment to your man's emotion. I know thats not the answer but I cannot stand to keep feeling like this. This one will leave him wondering for a long time how many people have a flawed notion about him. It's a cruel way of saying you are not sorry you hurt your significant other, and they just have to forget about it. Using almost every opportunity to make your partner feel like he has to compete to please you is terrible. This statement is a huge slap on his ego and intellect. "She's just made a change of address.". The thing about words (especially harmful ones), is that they seldom stay with the speaker. Intrusive, demanding people do not deserve an answer. Theres nothing positive about calling people slow or retarded, male or female. Its a skill, for sure. If your partner's friends aren't deliberately making you uncomfortable, these words are uncalled for. Support is what your man needs. Gaslighting is so terrible that experts call it a form of emotional abuse. Her jokes are often sexual and rude. That is a common feeling of people with CEN. Even if you dont mean permanently, being asked to be left alone by someone you care about can feel harsh. This is how I feel when family members show no interest in knowing how I truly feel and when I try to explain am just made to feel I am bothering them or am wrong in how I feel or see things. Assure them you will try to be there for them as much as they need in this difficult period, so they know theyre not alone. You can get the definition (s) of a word in the list below by tapping the question-mark icon next to it. The second thing is to be sincere. Hi Jonice, You can always tell him you want more instead of asking if that's all he's got.