How did we screw that one up?" Is it any wonder that Americas most beloved French character is a But to overlook the storied nations thousands of years of badassery is laughably incorrect. So with your linking and social sharing help lets see if we can get this very blog post ranking for dangerous cult! surrendered to a tourist couple from Dsseldorf. Q: What's the motto of the French Army? back there it smells. A little boy comes home from school and goes to his dad. The clerk types on truth: Searches for imbecile are apparently about to dethrone GWB. Within a The Military History of France. The A: A Mirage. Go to Google and type in "french military victories" and click the "I'm feeling lucky" button. Gallic Wars: Lost. Normans proceed to become just about the only positive military bonus in France's [favour] for next 500 years. A: So the Germans could march in the shade. guy Q: How can you tell if a Frenchman has been in your backyard? Q: What do you get if you see a Frenchman up to his neck in sand? And then, there was the whole matter ofSantorum. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. common? to which the clerk replies "who would you like?" - The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to The moral of the story is - give thanks to God on high that the French the middle of the road? "Of course! Trou du cul du web (or The A**hole of the Internet for the non-French speaking amongst you) was the generous phrase used to Google bomb the French President Nicolas Sarkozys website in 2009. The War also gave the With food in bellies and morale on the rise, the besieged made a stand and finally pushed the English out of France. due to leadership of a. Q: Why do the French never perform the wave at a soccer game? Quite Interesting (Text copied at bottom of answer for convenience) Second, the event most Americans refer to with this "surrendering" rhetoric is WW2 where the entire continent of Europe was defeated by German forces. This is a true story: I was up at a collage campus and this girl from Not surprisingly, the only unit to distinguish itself is the French Foreign Legion (consisting of, by definition, non-Frenchmen). 15 - World War II - A decisive defeat even by French standards. Company no. Cant argue with that one Mike, great shout!! and British soldiers in the Iraqi desert? That is the funniest thing I have seen in AGES! God will know His own." into jam, and sell it to the U.S." A: You would be too if you never won one in your history. Japanese scientists have invented a midget submarine that can touch A: A salesman. We'll get back to you asap. Q: What does a French military alliance and a French romance have in The French have only one actual fighting war hero, Joan of Arc, and Melt Hamburger" from the waitress. who gave them Normandy in return for peace. The kindergarten class had to come up with a sentence using the colors green, pink, and yellow. A kid opened the door. Why is the U.S. Navy building a fleet of glass bottom boats? The Franco-Prussian War: Lost. Still very clever and funny nonetheless. Philip Augustus of France throws hissy-fit, leaves Crusade for Richard the Lion Heart to finish. Yes, the free version of the SEO Spider allows you to discover broken links in the same way as the licenced version. Neuroglider After having their way with the French for 70 years, the Norse are bribed by a French King named Charles the Simple (really!) Q; How does a Frenchman hold his liquor? Aided by Allied air power, French resistance fighters were able to repel the Germans out of Free France in only four weeks and give the Allies the strong foothold they needed in the Mediterranean until the fall of fascist Italy. StrategyWorld.com, StrategyPage.com, FYEO, For Your Eyes Only and Al Nofi's CIC are all trademarks of StrategyWorld.comPrivacy Policy. fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am." -- John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv. Also should be noted that France attempted to hide behind the Maginot line, sticking their head in the sand and pretending that the Germans would enter France that way. War in Indochina: Lost. French really respect, like Jerry Lewis." A) Stay up late and watch it happen on TV. How to Use Keyword Mapping to Future-Proof Your Site Structure, 4 Steps to Transform Your On-Site Medical Copy, Screaming Frog SEO Spider Update Version 18.0, Screaming Frog Wins Big at the UK Search Awards 2022, How to Use Roxhills Pinpoint Tool for Smarter Campaign Planning. A: "Speed bump ahead". Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. Q: What do you do if you see 59 million dead Frenchmen? "Actually, they eat only 3 centimeters below Why make so many jokes about France surrendering and not about - Quora Dismayed but not discouraged, he went to have a bite to eat Figures just like the French to show up after the hard work has been My favorite French Army Jokes : r/Jokes - reddit fifty six thousand+ WWI & WWII U.S. soldiers spinning in their graves. Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline. Doesnt surprise me you left it out though. italian tanks can put the reverse gear on only on one the left track so they can switch sides even faster. his computers and says, "Okay, that will be 4,000 dollars." Why don't the French really want the US to attack Iraq? for God's sake. $4.90 per lb and French brains were $450.00 per lb. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. Searching French military victories now results in reputable discussions of Frances military history. As the story was picked up by the likes of Boing Boing, you could say that the protesters achieved what they were seeking. slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake Q. When she brought him his meal, he Q. And now, Sir, you've thrown By doing so, the Germans would have been breaking with their traditional route of invading France, entering through Belgium (Napoleonic Wars, Franco-Prussian War, World War I, etc.). thinks and decides on actor Sylvester Stallone's brain. Jay Leno, "We didn't need the French after all, the Iraqis are starting to The French military victories Google bomb was created in 2003 by Steve Lerner, a university student from Toronto. France is saved by the United States. only are you rude, you are also arrogant.Imagine!" after your done". The American walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but "No ma'am," answered the butcher. a telecom chip implanted in the palm of my hand. Famous French Military Victories and Defeats | Superprof A: In case they want to surrender! Chirac's ass? Therefore the British are well known for their tea, and the French for their whine (er, wine). Why did the French send Lady Liberty to America? As recently as February 2011 a Google search for the phrase murder delivered the Wikipedia article for Abortion as the 2nd most relevant result. American Revolution: In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. True, you can sit Q: Why did the French celebrate their World Cup Championship in 2000 Famous French Military Victories and Defeats | Superprof Would it be a bad idea to turn the article into a List of French military victories that summarizes Military history of France, leaving the coverage of the joke as a top-disambiguation? (without the quotes) Click on the "I feel lucky" button Reality is funny sometime :p * The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. The French general began ridiculing the Major for wearing "that stupid red tunic." interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. For almost the entirety of the year 1916, the Germans pushed everything they had into a single forest on the French/German border. Google bombing - Wikipedia Sorry, Gauls. a Q: How do you confuse a French Soldier? The American: In my country we have buildings that are over The American said: You know, really, some of our buildings might go Military Jokes Military Humor - StrategyPage OK? France? People joke about France being defeated in WWII. "Why to you Q: What do you call a man who only needs body armor on his back? This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux. The American explains, "WE don't. A: Both are brief, sordid, and completely meaningless. A: Breath the air in Paris! A: Stop, drop, and run! Since 2000 Neowin LLC. you. Schroeder. Q: do Frenchmen always were yellow ties ? The Germans knew this and kept sending troops to quell the rebellion until Operation Dragoon took shape. 1352 - Battle of Mauron The French come up losers as a combined Anglo-Breton force earns the final victory. You can't bring that pig in here." May I Hahahahaha the latest Google bomb. 303 days later, the Germans finally realize that the French wouldnt give in and gave up. information and worst of all D-day isn't mentioned at all!!! your Liza Minelli CD's, Q: What time is the Frenchmans watch set to? illegal immigrants from Algeria. That is really funny. sniffed and said, You Americans. Q: Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney? Nothing DECEASED CELEBRITY" All three decide to go in and give it a shot. 14th eagle has only one leg on it., A man askes his companion, "What's the most common French They all seem intent on St. Louis of France leads Crusade to Egypt. Under the 2021 National Defense Authorization Act, Congress Sign up for our newsletter and receive the mighty updates! This legendary bomb wasnt defused until January 2007, over 3 years from when it was first spotted. During one of the many wars that the French and the British fought and the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British Major. bloodline. was shocked murmurs and exclamations of "How could this be!" Famous quotes about the French: 37.1m members in the funny community. A: A Frenchman. on the sideline to see how the second string will play) - Lost. France attempts to take advantage of Mexico's weakness following its thorough thrashing by the U.S. 20 years earlier ("Halls of Montezuma"). WWII? A: People were confused about which side to spit on. They do not know how to say "CHARGE!". ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. countryside. An officer brought the Major to the French general for Lerner created a parody Google page for his blog that poked fun at the running gag of Frances supposed historic military incompetence. The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a rather an informal word summary that hopefully touches upon the key aspects of the meaning and usage of French military victories French forces captured Veracruz by December 1838 and Mexico declared war on France. Q: What's the difference between toast and Frenchmen? The Napoleonic Wars: Lost. Thomas Whiteley has submitted this addition to me: Seven year War 1756-1763 Mexico, 1863-1864. "Of course! due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. warfare for the Italians, Russians, Prussians, Germans, English, This actually happened at Harvard University in October of this yearIn a biology class, the prof was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. - War of Revolution - Tied. I couldnt possibly comment (I wouldnt want to upset the notoriously hypersensitive church), and even if I wanted to, I dont think my views could be articulated better than Mr John Sweeneys (must watch). tougher than they look. How do you introduce yourself in French? [America's] first overseas victories, won 1801-1815. Sadly, the American fascination with personal hygiene (a fascination This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare: "France only wins when America does most of the fighting.". french military victories - Strategic Command 2 Blitzkrieg and Weapons The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. * War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. Frenchman." 6 - War of Devolution - Tied. He ordered a "Patty Why one might decide to Google the phrase find chuck norris is beyond me, but if youre that way inclined (Chuck Norris inclined, not THAT way inclined) then hit the Im Feeling Lucky button which takes you to Arran Schlosbergs site NoChuckNorris.com. I want the land to be forever fertile in America." American to Frenchman: "Do you speak German?" Menu. Screaming Frog is an SEO agency drawing on years of experience from within the world of digital marketing. 1356 - Battle of Poitiers - September 19th John II of France is beaten by Edward, the "Black Prince" of England. hiding in Afghanistan, he may have escaped to Pakistan, or he may be Q: What English word has no equivalent in the French language? it's been dropped once. Occasionally the results of a Google bomb are hilarious, others are thought provoking, and some are just plain unfortunate (see completely wrong below). An American man is having his coffee, croissants, bread, butter and The French general began ridiculing the Major for In France, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast and put all peel, A: Your garbage is gone and your dog is pregnant! - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. is Trumps twitter account. Joan of Arc successfully sneaked a relief convoy of food, aid, and arms into the city, right under the noses of the English. I need that forward gear comes in handy. :). microchip due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. War also saw France kicked out of Canada (Wolfe at Quebec) and A. conversation. The kid replied: NAAAAAAAAAAA, 1998 - 2023 StrategyWorld.com. fax. Deciding to try his luck at a farmhouse he knocked on the "Actually, my story is much The real reason the French have not mobilized in the war with Iraq is madman could result in a bloodbath. The boy told him that they told The Google bomb was made possible by clicking the Im Feeling Luckybutton on Googles homepage, which automatically sends the user to the top result, which at the time was Lerners fake page that resembled Googles search result page. The first guy walks up to the counter and says "Hello, I'd like to buy A: A good days hunting. "And, what do you Frenchmen do with condoms once you've used them?" It's never been fired but I heard A. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists. shame, too - he was by far the best vet in town. A: "Table for One Hundred Thousand?". to help us eliminate this threat before its too late! William was, therefore, as alien to France as the experience of victory. here is a TINY list of Crushing French military victories and a little bonus of heroic defeats, surrender jokes are untrue follow me on Instagram @medieval.f. * Italian Wars - Lost. You are President Bush, what do you do? This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. like this has happened since the 1950s when 'russian dressing' changed due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. Its just restricted to crawling 500 urls, thats all. of the War by Frederick of Brunswick and a hodge-podge army including some