You don't understand. Go with it. I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium. It's all your fault. They are flat broke, so they move to the house of Withnail's uncle in the countryside. Withnail: How should I possibly know what we should do? I invented it in Camberwell, and it looks like a carrot. Danny: [the bedroom door slowly opens and the intruder enters with a torch]. Withnail: Youre not in the same boat. "I'm going to pull your head off." I think you've been punished enough. Uncle Monty: Come on lads, let's get home, the sky's beginning to bruise. How infinite in faculties! [narrating over scene] How dare you. 100% Upvoted. Quotes.net. Withnail: Free to those who can afford it, very expensive to those who can't. Marwood: St Peter preached the epistles to the apostles looking like that. Marwood: The carrot has mystery. Withnail: Withnail: I'm gonna be a sta-a-a-a-ar! Be seated. I would say. Before I became a journalist I was in the Territorials. [Jake has left a dead hare hanging on the cottage door, along with a note], Monty: This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Withnail And I. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. And I'm sitting in this bloody shack and I can't cope with Withnail. If you don't remember the sixties, don't worry neither did they. 'He used to get in bad tempers and act up,' said his wife. Marwood: Get out of it for a while. This suit was cut by Hawkes of Savile Row. Then you get horribly drunk and they can't fucking touch you. You haven't slept in sixty hours, you're in no state to tackle it. Right, you fucker, I'm going to do the washing up. This *is* the morning. Call Of Duty 4 Modern Warfare: War Quotes - YouTube www.youtube.com. [pulling a pheasant out of his coat] [Mr Parkin is sitting on his tractor with one leg wrapped from thigh to ankle in a plastic fertiliser bag. Change down, man. Alas I have little more than vintage wine and memories. General: I think a drink, don't you? Danny: Then why's he wearing that old suit? I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum. Marwood: Marwood: You got a rush. Withnail: How should I know where we are? Let him get his drugs out. I've only had a few ales. You needn't explain, he's told me everything. Hair are your aerials. Rubbish. Withnail: You've got soup. It's the only solution to this intense cold. Withnail: (Paraphrasing Hamlet) I have of late but wherefore I know not lost all my mirth and indeed it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory; this most excellent canopy, the air look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire why, it appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapors. Im in the same boat. Little tarts, they love it! [getting up at the same time] You want working on, boy! Web. Marwood: How dare you tell him that?! is the clip Thanks! Pin By Lucy MckFunkdrick On Sunny Side | Withnail And I, Mens www.pinterest.com. Irishman: Withnail: Good old Jake. I've always been fond of root crops but I only started to grow last summer. Withnail: Marwood: You merely imagined it. If I medicined you, you'd think a brain tumour was a birthday present. Locations, see. Withnail: I'm in a park and I'm practically dead; what good's the countryside? How like a *god*! It'll pass. There are things in there, there's a tea-bag growing! Irishman: Making enemies of our own futures. Give me a downer, Danny. Will we never be set free? Marwood: Jesus, look at that. But I never really had it in my blood, and that's what's so essential, isn't it, theatrical zeal in the veins. [a few minutes later, Withnail re-enters the cottage holding a wet stick]. I must be ill. Withnail: Right, you f***er, I'm going to do the washing up. It's trying to get itself in with you. Ponce! Peter Marwood (I): We want the finest wines available to humanity! [after having entirely covered himself in muscle embrocation to keep warm] Withnail: Withnail: I've no idea. A cat, rain, Vim under the sink, and both bars on. Withnail: The bastard's about to run at me! You lose, you gain. Stand aside! I thought they'd all be out the back, drinking cider and discussing butter. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Quite freaked me at the time. No, man, this was more like a long white hat. So he looks at the Coalman and says, "What's all this? Marwood: I mean look at us! . The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. My brain's capsizing. It's horrible really but they like that, the little girls. Monty: The murder and All-Bran and rape. Imagine the size of his balls. What makes you possibly think I've got anything for your pot? Withnail: Are you the farmer? ""Here. Withnail: Wait till the morning, we'll go in together. Withnail: Isaac Parkin: Half dead he may be, but I'll come up after you, and I'll wake you up with a live one. I've got a bastard behind the eyes. An old woman with a clunky hearing aid pinned to her apron opens the door, she still doesn't answer. Cooking's one of the natural instincts. Withnail: Bastard must have died. I've looked into it. It will die, it will die! But now he's stopped he's much better in our sex life and in our general life." Withnail: I think we've been in here too long. How infinite in faculties! His head must weight fifty pounds on its own. Withnail: (He spits out a globule of phlegm) Jesus, look at that. Withnail: Marwood: Withnail: 'Scuse me. No, no, you can't. Headhunter to his friends. Marwood: Now, come along, Im going to teach you how to peel a potato., I must have some booze. The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. There must and shall be aspirin, or I shall die, here, on this fucking mountainside! Withnail: [to Marwood] I don't want to hear anything. "In a world exclusive interview, 33 year old shot putter Geoff Woade who weighs 317 pounds, admitted taking massive doses of anabolic steroids, drugs banned in sport. Night must fall and we shall be forced to camp. Or do you shut yourself off from new experience? You'll have to find us first. Scrubbers! I'm glad you're the proprietor, I was gonna have to have a word with you anyway. What a piece of work is a man. I adore you. by Anonymous: reply 16: February 3, 2021 10:58 PM: I've gone on holiday by mistake. Withnail: Black puddings are no good to us. You need working on, boy! [after a phone call with his agent] Yes, we'll buy this place and we'll install a fucking jukebox in here and liven all you stiffs up a bit! No more than you have. [pointing at a table] Ponce! The older order changeth, yielding place to new. To offer it the show of violence", [as Monty continues to recite the line from Hamlet, Marwood gets up and whispers in Withnail's ear]. Marwood: Withnail: [holding umbrella in rain] [he pours the lighter fluid down his throat. Withnail: The only programme I'm likely to get on is the fucking news. Tea Shop Proprietor: His sister give him the idea. [voiceover] Don't get uptight with me, man. Change down, man. Oh, of course you are. Why don't you wash up occasionally like any other human being? DRIVE WITH EXTREME CARE"] Withnail: We want the finest wines available to humanity. Withnail And I - Wikipedia en.m.wikipedia.org. I often wonder where Norman is now. Oh, don't tell me you're not aware of it, I know what you're up to and so do you. Offer him yourself. "Oh no, please, don't pull my head off." It's impossible to use 12 papers on one joint. At some point or another I want to stop and get hold of a child. Those are the kind of windows faces look in at. Withnail: We worked out it would be handy karma for him to get hold of a suit but he's a very low temperature spade, the Coalman. Headhunter to everybody. You undo your valve and give them a dose of unadulterated child's piss and they have to give you your keys back. You little thug! Well, that can't be sensible, can it? Monty: Marwood: We get in there and get wrecked, then we'll eat a pork pie, then we'll drop a couple of Surmontil-50's each. Here hare here!" Bruce Robinson, Withnail and I: the Original Screenplay. Withnail and I is a TV program that first aired in 1970 . Easy for you to say, luvvie, you've had an audition. I tried not to. But old now, old. [wakes up in the back seat of the car, which is moving along the motorway] You're not leaving me in here alone. report. Sherry? We can't go on like this. [cockily] *Aaaaarggghhhh*! That's worse than meths! Imagine the size of his balls. Do you realise this gaff's overrun with rodents? Flowers are essentially tarts. You been away? Speed, is like a dozen transatlantic flights without ever getting off the plane Time change. That's a very good idea. Withnail: When that moment comes, one's ambition ceases. It's full of brilliant quotable lines: "We've gone on holiday by mistake!" "My thumbs have gone weird". The only programme I'm likely to get on is the f***ing news. Politics, man. [Marwood comes out of the bathroom wearing a towel]. The carrot has mystery. Where did you school? Withnail: As a youth, I used to weep in butchers' shops! Dead down the drain? I know where you are, you're at Crow Crag. Peter Marwood: That's alright, I'll go alone. Marwood: Monty: The Coalman had to go to Jamaica. Marwood: He's right, Withnail, look at him! Monty: The movie, which ta. Wake up you bastard, or I burn this bastard bed down! I don't want to hear it. They're selling hippie wigs in Woolworth's, man. He is even taller than Withnail and much more burly. Withnail: Then the f***er will rue the day! Monty: I couldn't, I'm spaced. Danny: Got a randy bull up there. In fact, he'd probably tell you what he was going to do before he did it. Marwood: A coward you are, Withnail! 'S alright, 's alright, s'alright We're going, our car has arrived! 1 likes. Withnail: Waitress: But sooner or later you've got to get out because it's crashing. "Geoff Woade is feeling better and is now prepared to step back into society and start tossing his orb about." I imagine they're talking to each other. Withnail and I Quotes. We've got to get some booze. Withnail: Then you gotta change its drawers for it. This boy's been out there frozen to the marrow and you just sit in here drinking. Always full of women staring out of windows, whining about ducks going to Moscow. But he's a very low-temperature spade, the Coalman. [shouting at his cat] Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). We'll buy this place and have it knocked down! By the time the doors opened he was arseholed on rum and got progressively more arseholed until he could take no more and fell over at about 12 o'clock. Withnail hands Marwood the bag of shopping and jumps over the wall to safety. So we're gonna make one that shits itself as well. [Withnail laughs uncontrollably and drops to the floor]. Withnail: No need to get uptight, man. But sooner or later you got to get out, because it's crashing. Be seated. The fuel and wood situation. Quotes and one-liners: . Keep back, keep back! Beside there's nothing invented I couldn't take. Withnail: I think an evening at The Crow. This ain't fancy dress." Throw yourself into the road, darling! Listen, I pay you 10 percent to do that. Withnail: (Wry smile) Sorry about that. *Bastards*! Listen, Withnail, it's a stinker. Marwood: I'd never have wanted it, not with him in it! Danny: They don't like me being on stage. It has felt like listening to a symphony and here comes the crescendo. Sitting down to enjoy my holiday. I'm in the middle of a bloody overdose! Withnail: There is a hare tied to the door with a note attached. And I'm sitting in this bloody shack and I can't cope with Withnail. Irishman: What had I done to offend him? https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Withnail_and_I&oldid=3185462. General: The fucking kettle's on fire! Marwood: Jake: Marwood: Right, you fucker, I'm going to do the washing up! Tea Shop Proprietor: Marwood: Why have you drugged their onions?! Dont be ridiculous. What a piece of work is a man! You know what we should do? Especially that. [clearly drunk] Your email address will not be published. Followed by yet another anecdote about his sensitive crimes in a punt with a chap called Norman who had red hair and a book of poetry stained with the butter drips from crumpets. For some of us a quote becomes a mantra, a goal or a philosophy by which we live. Top 65 Best Nikola Tesla Quotes On Energy & Success 2023, Top 70 Bengals Trivia Quiz Questions And Answers 2023, Top 68 March Trivia Quiz Questions And Answers 2023, Top 57 Airplane Trivia Quiz Questions And Answers 2023, Top 65 Philippine Literature Quiz Trivia Questions And Answers, Top 62 Chemistry Trivia Quiz Questions And Answers 2023, Top 63 Biology Trivia Quiz Questions And Answers 2023. Thanks! Withnail: Cake. Withnail: Listen to this. Opened the oven door and it was in there looking at me. Chin-chin. The greatest decade in the history of mankind is over. We shall buy this place and fire you immediately. He gags and gasps]. I've only had a few ales. Yes, you are! We do it wrong, being so majestical. The school in fiction Poetry. Probably on a tenner a day, and I know what for! It's like Greenland in here. [pointing an eel at him] If you have any question or suggestion then just comment below or contact us. Withnail is cowering under the covers]. And if I spike you, you'll know you've been spoken to. I'm in a park and I'm practically dead; what good's the countryside? I wondered if you could sell us some food. The only thing you're in that I've been in is this fucking bath! Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). How dare you! He gags and gasps, Withnail laughs hysterically and falls to the floor, then vomits on Marwood's feet, as Monty continues to recite the line from Hamlet, Marwood gets up and whispers in Withnail's ear, after coming out of a field, Withnail hasn't closed the gate properly, and a bull walks through it. by Anonymous: . How can it be so cold in here? Uncle Monty: Go with it. Uncle Monty: Here hare here here hare here! This page was last edited on 1 November 2022, at 17:35. All right here? "Withnail and I Quotes." You mustn't blame yourself. Your sensitivity overwhelms me. I'm starving. Monty: Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your f***ing appendix doesn't mean anything! Danny: This suit was cut by Hawke's of Savile Row! It's society's crime, not ours. Marwood: What happened to my cigar commercial? Withnail: Add spice to it. According to these instructions, you refuse everything but a urine sample. [offering Monty a glass] This dreadful little Israelite. Don't suppose you've engaged, have you? 4 Mar. Matter. He doesn't have any friends. The beauty of the world! Maybe he's written this in some moment of drunken sincerity! Withnail: Look at Geoff Woade! Withnail: Withnail: Get that damned little swine out of here! Cos if you do, I'll have to give you a dose of medicine. [fondling the money Monty has given them to buy Wellingtons] She said she'd closed. Evidently country people are no more receptive to strangers than city-dwellers. The sky's beginning to bruise, night must fall and we shall be forced to camp. [shouts out of the car window at a man standing on the pavement]. [teary-eyed] Marwood: I feel dreadful, I feel really dreadful. Why didn't I get any soup? Bastard asked me to understudy Konstantin in The Seagull. *You'll all suffer*! Now, what makes you think I should give you something for your pot? Monty: What do you want in here? Listen, I know what you're thinking but I had no alternative. You haven't slept in sixty hours, you're in no state to tackle it. Marwood: "I f*** arses"? Withnail: I'm good-looking. Ive absolutely no interest in yours. Withnail: If he comes into my room again, it's murder, and you'll be held responsible in law! Marwood: Calm down. I called him a ponce. We were wondering if we could possibly purchase a pheasant off of you. You just wait. I happen to be the proprietor. You got to throttle him. Ah! Shat on by Tories, shovelled up by Labour. This pill's valued at two quid. [they stop and look at each other. Have you met Jake? Danny: I can never touch meat until it's cooked. Withnail: Anyway, I loathe those Russian plays. There is a certain je ne sais quoi - oh, so very special - about a firm, young carrotExcuse me Uncle Monty: I mean to have you, even if it must be burglary! Withnail: How can it be so cold in here? It's like a tide. I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum. They're throwing themselves into the road gladly! Why can't I have an audition? Why can't I have an audition? Peter Marwood (I): Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day. Like "Withnail: This is ridiculous. Marwood: You know what we should do? Maybe he's written this in some moment of drunken sincerity. How noble in reason, how infinite in faculties! And you'd be marvellous. You've got soup. Look at him. You have done something to your brain. Lets take a look at the following list and find out the best Withnail and I quotes. Withnail: Ive told you why. I fail to see my family's of any interest to you. Withnail: Withnail: How dare you tell him I'm a toilet trader! Poacher. Withnail: We are not drunks, we are multimillionaires! These aren't accidents, they're throwing themselves into the road! It's trying to get itself in with you, it's trying for even more advantage! There can be no true beauty without decay. Withnail: Half an hour? The purveyor of rare herbs and proscribed chemicals is back. Well, it's not my fault if the system doesn't work!