If you're dating a woman who doesn't want to have kids, you should know whether or not you do. Does it feels good to fake your feelings? Best wishes for a lifetime of happiness. I would say take a step back and analyze why you are not connecting with him and see if things could be different if you two had some changes. So family pressured us to get married. Girlfriend is pregnant don't know if it's mine. This discussion is archived and locked for posting. There are days I hate being pregnant and days I could swear I even hate him. A cesarean birth, which accounts for 21% of births today, costs around. The "baby blues" are a form of depression - just not as severe as PPD. Anyways, we decided to get marry after finding out that she was pregnant, even though I had my doubts if it was my baby or not. We keep them up because there are a ton of great conversations here and we believe you deserve to see them all. You're a mom now. As I said earlier, each person has different needs. Sadly having a baby can create a rift between parents. Made a mistake without any intention to make it surely will freak someone out. In fact, before we found out I was pregnant (which was completely unplanned) I was thinking of breaking up with him. A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. bcus a womens cry n tongue is very sharp. If you'd like to talk more you could Facebook message me my names Logan Downey this is my profile pic but in rainbow. Even though you never had the intention to have a serious relationship with your current partner, you still need to discuss the problem with him. She is a good person, and a fantastic catch for somebody unfortunately that person is not me. the repercussions and consequences of such an act always plays out. I'm curious to find out how it turned out for you. In fact, I was planning on breaking up with him right before I found out I was pregnant. As a woman, you get insulted for doing it, and you get insulted for not doing it. The educational health content on What To Expect is reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts to be up-to-date and in line with the latest evidence-based medical information and accepted health guidelines, including the medically reviewed What to Expect books by Heidi Murkoff. No love. If you do not want posts which do not comply with your state of mind, don't post. seriously.. i find it hard to understand SOME MEN. We made it to 8yrs. Married for few months. I know quite a few mothers who weren't ready (not that anyone ever is) to have a baby when they did and just grew to resent their child. I thought the same! Don't create a situation where you are stuck and can be controlled like that. ( though I don't see the first one as a mistake because making babies should not be a mistake.it is the natural order of things).you cant force people to do things out of their wishes and desires. I unfortunately love my ex I have tried to forgets my ex but I can't. I have many regrets from the past and can't bear to add another one to the long list. You had the intention to be with someone for fun without taking the consequences seriously. I am trying REALLY hard to find some common ground with him, to love him, or even like him but the more time goes on the more miserable I am. SCENARIO 1: STAY WITH HER BECUASE SHE IS PREGNANT (THIS IS THE FOUNDATION OF THE RELATIONSHIP). not the father, mother or child. After all, what is marriage if there is no happiness? I was literally about to break up with her (we were in the process of breaking up), when she announced she was pregnant. It depends on the person. !So the next time you wake up and look at the zit face woman you married that disgusts you and you hate her because you could have banged all the women you wanted but she got knocked up! Unfortunately it only lasted 4 and half years because he was becoming abusive. Life is too short to spend even one month chained to someone you're not in love with. THIS IS THE ENVIROMENT IN THIS SITUATION. I completely respect her decision on this. Good one boys real mature!! if she wants to put kid in day care every day, she can and you pay for it). I had been seeing the guy (now DH) exclusively since August of 2011. It originally aired on the Fox network in the United States on January 22, 1995. When I did he the. Mary Morris Former Bookkeeper Author has 285 answers and 1.6M answer views 2 y So, chances are, she's not speaking as she normally would. To think about the kids. Sorry I must've misread. I feel like I'm forcing myself to love her. Some of us got promoted while pregnant or found new jobs, it is not impossible. Be true to yourself and you will allow yourself to get things that you deserve. Oh, I agree 100%. They were always fighting, unhappy. This relationship is bad for my wife and me. Many things will change during the whole 9 months of pregnancy. Does the father know? The problem I have now is that have a beautiful baby girl with one girl I impregnated whom I dont love. Long story short, I don't love my pregnant girlfriend. Babies can put stress on a couple because it requires both mom and dad to give of themselves. Eventually I grew to love him, but not the fairy tale kind of love. I am wondering if i can and how i can win my ex back. It will not update but downgrade yourself. Leaving a pregnant girlfriend with your child, in my view is very selfish and irresponsible. Some men can be very guarded and closed when it comes to expressing how they feel - it can almost feel like they are pulling away from you and leaves you wondering whether he's actually into you. You have to remember you are only going to be a victim for as long as you allow yourself to be one. 2Face. I even feel guilty saying this considering how hard other couples are trying to have a child and can't. IS THAT WHAT SHE/HER DESERVES A GARANTEED **** UP ENVRIOMENT? The author playing in the snow in December 2022. You need to be upfront and honest nothing is worse than being lied to when feelings are involved. Find advice, support and good company (and some stuff just for fun). Here Are 10 Behaviors A Woman Exhibits When She's In Love 1. Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. I am 39 soon to be 40 in 2 months. Paula Perry has a multi-page spreadsheet titled "Squirrels," which details the health and wellness of tiny, injured baby squirrels she keeps in her house. I know this is not the time to criticise as the harm has already been caused, but i will still ask: If you claim you dnt love someone, how on earth did u get involved with her, let alone put her in the family way? He's provided for me financially, has given me a house and a car, and is really into being a father. Told me "**** the baby" I was gone for a while after that but went back due to having no where else to go. My girlfriend and I just broke up and she's 3 months pregnant. My only advice is to make sure you don't make your or your wife or your baby's life miserable. No one would want their daughter and unborn grandchild in that type of situation. He's provided for me financially, has given me a house and a car, and is really into being a father. It wasn't ideal but eventually I got a better job and bought myself a nice car. A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. But shes not the type, shes fond of me un-necessarily. Can't and haven't said a word to anyone about how i feel. NOW WHY IS IT THAT SO MANY OF US HAD MESSED UP CHILDHOOD? And both of you surely need to stay in touch. The #1 app for tracking pregnancy and baby growth. "We are. Fertility is amazing, making a baby with your own body is an unreal magical power, feeding that baby with your body is some kind of sci-fi-fantasy level of madness. That's a bummer sadly, the pill can and often does fail, even if its taken 100% properly and on time (and it usually isn't), so you have to be REALLY careful with someone you dont want to reproduce with, as many men have found before you. Even when you first meet your new child, don't put expectations on how you should feel. We only dated for three months before I got pregnant. You need to discuss with him so that you won't need to face the how do I deal with a break up while I am still pregnant his baby alone. At the end of the day, you won't be able to find happiness that you have been looking for. Don't marry someone you don't love. dont do it I married my ex for the same reasons it was terrible for not only us but my children. woman in labor woman giving birth Sort by: Most popular Woman with newborn baby Pretty woman holding a newborn baby in her arms the most helpful and trustworthy pregnancy and parenting information. In November 2022, I gave birth to my precious baby girl. My girlfriend admitted to me that she cheated. I'm in love with a married man And his wife is pregnant. He will probably try to then use the baby against you. This educational content is not medical or diagnostic advice. So you have been together 9yrs, do you have other children you need to think about as well? It was enough for me to be content, while I gave the kids a life that I never had. I didn't want to end up starting a family in my 50s. She actually is (5 months now), but I took all the words back (the reasons why I didn't want to be with her). I feel bad for you but you basically gave him the green light to control you. I couldn't be myself with him. gals are expect dnt 4get. Back then I loved her and I felt sorry for her because she took the decision of getting marry to me even though she didn't love me. I was done. I would start making a game plan, create a change. Being pregnant is not a free pass for not working. There are more than likely services in your area to help you get on your feet (welfare,food stamps,shelter). Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. My eldest is 3 then one nearly 2 and one due any time, we dont fight too much but dont love each other, dont even like each other, I just dont want the kids not to have family days and stuff? For all the guys out there who think a woman is the stepping stone to the next onewear a condom. I know he can tell I'm not in love with him and I think he thinks he's in love with me ( told me he loved me only after 3 weeks of dating, should've been my first red flag there) anywho we don't really fight a lot and are mostly very friendly around eachother and really do try to make it work but when he gets in his moods I just can't he got drunk one night and almost ran us off the road after telling me he was fine ( he really was acting completely fine) then when I screamed due to being terifed he yelled at me, took away my phone and told me to get out of the house , which I did. marriage should not be a punishment or a form of contract. He made a baby with you but doesn't seem to support you financially and you don't live together. How can you discuss your thoughts with her in a healthy way? But there's something extraordinary about the energy level of a little boy. Man up and take care of your kid, but UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES can you let her, or her family, or your family guilt trip you into "doing the right thing" and marrying her. And when the oldest child was about 10, I finally left. Making your child or probably children at this point live in hell as well because hey if you married her you may as well keep having sex and bring more kids in the world who would have to listen to the fighting, name calling, hate. Nobody wants probably so you think men should just force themselves to be in love with someone they're not?? I want to be a father!!! 15) His biological clock is ticking. Take a time to learn from your mistake so that you won't fall into the same problem. There are reasons on why you should never date a pothead. most times the child bears all the burnt of this relationship as the child would be looked upon as some sort of curse to both parties life the father will hate the child instead of loving it and the mother will eventual resent her child. Moreland told me, "Some moms have that immediate, overwhelming, love-at-first-sight feeling with their newborns; others don't. And that's okay. It does make someone feel down and stressed out but, look at the big picture. Will you make a better progress by doing so? The preferential parent is a parent who loves one child, the " golden child ," but doesn't love the other (or others), a " scapegoat .". What kind of advice do you really want, the best advice would be to take care of your baby, dont let yours and your other half (lool) silly selves to pollute her upbringing. It's no one else's responsibility to support you. I want to leave my 4 months pregnant girlfriend !! Don't stay just for the kids. Sheffield Utd X Tottenham - Ao Vivo Grtis HD Sem Travar | Futebol Grtis HD. I pretended to be. but she didn't have her baby . I got pregnant and was pressured to get married. That's when one of them dropped the term . Trust me dude, do whatever you have to to end this A.S.A.P. Good luck! You shouldn't have a baby unless you're in a committed relationship and have a foundation of financial and emotional security. I have a good job with good income and will pay half of the costs, I didn't want to lose her but I did. You could split amicably and try to remain friends to do what's best for the child. Yes, her hormones will be out of whack. silly boy so u r one of the stupid men who go abt using girls 4 sex.dont luv her dont touch her. Don't assume the baby will be just like his daddy, your baby may have a few similarities to him cause he's his child but your baby will be one of a kind in your eyes. Being pregnant isn't an excuse to work not work, I worked up until I was 38 weeks along by choice. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate with a baby due in July. What was even worst she call me two days later to ask me if I could pick her up and I did. Group Leaders arent expected to spend any additional time in the community, and are not held to a set schedule. As such, you'll need to spend time with both his child's mom and his child. I grew up where my dad treated me like ****, so I wanted to be the best father I could. Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade have welcomed their first baby to their family. Even if it does get better, odds are it won't, why would you want to have a life with someone you don't love? A Group Owner is a member that has initiated the creation of a group to connect with other members to share their journey through the same pregnancy & baby stages. Copyright 2017 - 2022 by LoveDevani.com. She knows him for 9 MONTHS not years. Please specify a reason for deleting this reply from the community. I agree that love is more a choice than a feeling. That is exactly how I feel about my life over the past 8 years - it feels like I have been sleepwalking. Create an account or log in to participate. He started cheating and I would cry myself to sleep. THE MOTHER KNOWS THE FATHER DOESNT LOVE HER NOW GUESS WHAT SHE IS ALSO MISARABLE! Group Leaders communicate with staff moderators and escalate potential violations for review, but they dont moderate discussions. BUTI had such a crappy childhood, I valued that more than I did my own personal happiness. If she says she doesn't want the relationship then that's fine but if a man says he doesn't then that's selfish. We don't have to be together to love our children. I am at a loss as to what I must do. It's that type of kindness you feel toward someone who's very close to your heart. This is why i found it hard to break up with her although I'd thought about it many times in the past. Help :(. Many of us are (heavily) pregnant and still working. He pays for the stuff bc he can afford too and didn't want me working while pregnant which was fine when everything was good. Satisfaction can be found through bringing up children . You have a hard decision to make. I make significantly more income then her, so I know she will need the child support, which will at least allow me to be in my child's life, but I don't want my child to be exposed to an unhappy marriage. A Group Owner is a member that has initiated the creation of a group to connect with other members to share their journey through the same pregnancy & baby stages. She bullied me into a wedding & now I am miserable. I know most of yall are gonna tell me to leave him and I wish it was that easy. SAY IT AGAIN! When he acts OK with the idea and his first instinct is to be happy, you can be sure it's one of the big signs a man wants to have a baby with you. He and my parents think that we are in love, but I have been keeping my true feelings to myself for 6 months: I don't love him. I want to come home from work to my son EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK, but I can't if me and the mother aren't together. In other words, those maternal. You decided to have a child with a man you barely know, you use him and his money (as you wrote, he can afford to pay for your car and other stuff) and you want us to praise you. Dont ever sleep with any girl you are not sure abt. A lot of women are alone while pregnant or with young children and they have a life they can be proud of. I sacraficed my needs for them. It doesn't, does it? @Teejay,hahahahaha, that cracked me up, but coming back to the issue, what da hell???? I can't bear the thought of breaking up and not being a part to this child's upbringing. OK LETS TRY TO LOOK AT WHAT IS: IS ANYONE THINKING ABOUT THIS FROM THE CHILD PERSPECTIVE? I do feel sorry for you and the situation you are in. Unless GF is somehow unfit, she'll get custody, meaning she makes the calls and gets support (e.g. Third, if someone chooses to have an abortion that is their choice, not yours. Accept That You Will Never Be First. Though it didn't work out, I never regretted it. Its been almost 5yrs. The episode was written by Jennifer Crittenden and . Apparently that first year of raising the child is very stressful, specifically on the relationship. It was ok if we didn't want to be together. It's stressful I have strong feelings for him and he says he does to but it's not just are little fantasy anymore things got so rushed and our maturity levels are so different. Long story short: we've togheter Long distance girlfriend pregnant and is thinking about breaking up. We literally virtually broke up the night before! Lastly, keeping a child she wanted to abort could cause her to hate the child, it's not guaranteed she would love the child when it was born. 37 weeks today. What to Expect has thousands of open discussions happening each day. She is 6 months pregnant now. When a woman loves you, she's kind to you. Unless your girlfriend deems fine that you both do not continue the relationship, by all means. No one can tell you what to do, we all have different stories. Steve. Love My Boyfriend Wants To Have A Baby With Another Woman By Alex Alexander Written on Dec 23, 2022 Photo: fizkes / Shutterstock When I met my polyamorous boyfriend , Buddy, I couldn't. They had to do it because the marriage was arranged or demanded, as their families saw them as a burden and financial responsibility to be passed on to a man who was willing to take her off their hands. The issue is she is healthcare prof and works in OBS/GYN so there is no way way she would have an abortion, she has just been involved in too many such procedures and its just not for her. If I do something to hurt their father then im hurting my children because they love him. I talked with him about how we had to stop thinking about ourselves and trying to hurt each other. Having a baby can create a bond that encourages mature personal growth and strengthens a couple's commitment to each other -- but that doesn't happen overnight, and more often, it doesn't. SHE WILL ALSO HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO THINK ABOUT WHAT'S BEST FOR HER CHILD. The man I am pregnant by has been in my life for years and is a good man but I am not in love with him. Because, you are not allowing yourself to have a better relationship, at least with your own self. Tell her at home and in private. Hey I know exactly how you feel. His baby mama got engaged to some dude while pregnant calls her fiance the kid's 'daddy', despite my friend wanting to be a father to his child. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. but honestly did society really win? If you don't want to be controlled, don't make yourself 100% dependent on someone. Please whitelist our site to get all the best deals and offers from our partners. YOU GOT THIS! I feel that i have fallen into serious depression and i might seek some professional help. I JUST came here to vent not telling people I'm snobby or lazy which I've never been! 1. @jessi, LMFAOI like ur commentVery BLUNT and to the POINT. Do i tell my boyfriend i slept with someone else during short break up? the guy might turn into a psychopath and malevolent towards the girl.he would also probably turn into a serial cheater and wife beater which is usually what happens. Last updated on June 9, 2022 by Michelle Devani There are many things that may cause a broken heart. A woman isn't damaged after engaging in sex, having a baby, or ending a bad relationship. Call your old boss, call family and friends, research aid and stop telling yourself you're stuck. think twice before sharing personal details, foster a friendly and supportive environment, remove fake accounts, spam and misinformation, delete posts that violate our community guidelines, reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts. 2) Are you prepared to forego this child and create a loving family with someone you truly love (which means you will wait for this new love to bear you a child).but be completely guilty all your life to abandon your first newborn just because you dont love your girlfriend. I got my, now wife, pregnant but she never loved me, in fact a month before she got pregnant she actually went to spend the night with some dude at a hotel in a different city, but she told me she just wanted to go away for a couple of days. I have read many times that people say don't make any major changes in the baby's first year of life. Maybe he doesn't like being used. Ex gf keeps driving past my house!!? The guy I was seeing was fun to party with but I didn't love him. . How can I believe I fathered the child if she's been unfaithful ? He bought it and it is in his name. Everything that we do, we have to bear all consequences. I do want to be a father but i always imagined it different, like being with a woman that i am in love with. I mean really a woman gets pregnant with your child and there are no options but to marry her? I want to be a great Dad, but I don't want to be miserable for the next 18 years - I don't know what to do. ISNT THAT WHAT WE ALL WANT? Have you told him you're pregnant yet? He's not all bad. I know some people may be asking why having sex with someone you dont love. Long story short. He shdnt forget the welfare of the child involved. He nearly killed you. "All of the rational thoughts. Firstly, I am sending my regards to you all. Hair. There is no right way to be a parent there is the only way that you want to do it. cos it not easy to becme a single mother huh. The dilemma I have a female colleague who has, over the past three years, told me she loves me and would like to marry me.The problem is that I do not love her and I have told her that. However I would like children just not in this circumstance you know? Adoption is for some people who want to unselfishly make sure the child is cared for and loved by people who can support it just like toughing it out and having the child, supporting it, and loving it is for others. I too feel torn by a similar situation. But that luxury comes with an expiration date, especially for women. I tried to make myself love him. This after-pregnancy condition is common, with roughly 70 to 80 percent of new mamas experiencing some degree of sadness. I'm having a baby with someone I'm not in love with. It is tough to find time for yourself, let alone your spouse. Women, in particular, have a growing awareness of the benefits of having babies when they're ready and not having more than they can provide for. He's not in love so he's selfish??? Now i have sleepless nights trying to find an angle but without success. Create an account or log in to participate. Start off by talking about your family, how you're feeling about work and home in general, and your love for your wife. Especially in your baby's life! Note that once you confirm, this action cannot be undone. She got pregnant 3 months after meeting him. DO YOU WANT TO CHILD TO HAVE A MESSED UP UPBRINGING LIKE YOU DID? Sex can lead to pregnancy and I'm assuming you knew the possibility of pregnancy when you made the choice. I hope you find what you're looking for. What can I do please? Don't try to be super-parent and don't let other people's unfair assumptions affect how you see yourself and your family. Long story short, I don't love my pregnant girlfriend. This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply. have condoms been created for monkeys, so silly, i feel for your baby maannnnn, irresponsible parents. Best of luck. We found out. Idnt also think the said mother would marry someone who wouldnt make her happy. form is an illusion. love should beget love and not hate or fear..something society always I have 6 sisters and three brothers. But men can still get baby fever. If I could take a pill that made me love u him I would, whereas I think he thinks he can start a new life if he left me? We respect everyones right to express their thoughts and opinions as long as they remain respectful of other community members, and meet What to Expects Terms of Use. But the decision that you take will not only have an impact in your life, but in others people's life too. Sucked it up and did what I had to do for my kids. It has been the hardest most brutal experience of my life. I was literally about to break up with her (we were in the process of breaking up), when she announced she was pregnant. If only i had acted 2-3 years ago when things were simpler and i was a little younger. maybe take a pre-marital class and figure out some common ground to build a relationship on Nine years ago I was mad in love with my first boyfriend. We respect everyones right to express their thoughts and opinions as long as they remain respectful of other community members, and meet What to Expects Terms of Use. we should always strife to solve a problem no matter how painful by looking at its essence and its core and not from its form. Just not with her. Aim to have a better and best partner that you can have. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. I hid the drama from my children, making up excuses while he never home. My kids are doing good. Wear a condom, or allow some woman to own your future (and your money) for a couple decades of your life! No we were together 3 months when I got pregnant. He made a baby with you but doesn't seek out or make an effort to spend time with his daughter. If you don't like something about your life, MAKE A CHANGE. Congratulations, a new bundle of joy is coming to fill your home with love and bliss. Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. I do not know the answer to that. Also, if it's bad now it will only get worse once the baby is here. Hi everyone! There are midnight feedings, changing diapers, rocking a screaming infant and little sleep. Be mature about it don't depend on her to be safe you be safe, if she don't comply then don't have sex! Cost Of Food At The Plush Restaurant Of Akufo-Addos Daughter Causes Stir Online Video, Richie Mensah Confirms Kuami Eugenes Deal With Empire, Hw3 Nie Okyer3 Bi Watch Epic Moment Joselyn Dumas Stood Inches In Sight Of Her Least Favourite Fan, Be Careful, She Destroyed Moesha And Hajia 4 Real Fella Makafui Warned Over Friendship With Salma, Alan Cash, Kwasi Nyantakyi, Kwasi Appiah, Kurt Okraku And Other Dignitaries Storm Christian Atsus One Week Celebration, This Is Like A Hair Dressing Salon Social Media Trolls Tonardo After Flaunting His Sakatuu Living Room. I must contain all this and somehow manage it thus minimizing any possible damage. On the other hand, if you do not love her but only want the child, it is also very selfish of you. If you want to be a dad, the fear that you'll only see your kid every other weekend and maybe once a week is legit. NO BABY no matter what deserves to be killed. Add to Favorites. People reports the famous couple's "miracle baby"-a daughter-was born Wednesday, Nov. 7, via surrogate. NOW YOU WONT BE ALWAYS PHYSICALLY THERE, BUT BECUASE YOU ARE A HAPPY PERSON THAT WILL TRANSLATE THAT. Honestly if I wouldn't of gotten pregnant I would not be with him. We had two kidsnice little family unit. You CAN NOT let someone have the upper hand on you. Group Leaders arent expected to spend any additional time in the community, and are not held to a set schedule. My ex won't come back to me after I hurt h Ex girlfriend is pregnant with her new boyfriend months after breaking up with me. And beware if your list of reasons is merely a hollow echo of your partner's. 3. THAT'S IT. If you feel a message or content violates these standards and would like to request its removal please submit the following information and our moderating team will respond shortly. Adoption is for some people who want to unselfishly make sure the child is cared for and loved by people who can support it just like toughing it out and having the child, supporting it, and loving it is for others.